Family, Individual and Group Counseling - Lake Nona, Kissimmee, Orlando

Men & Mental Health

Thu, 29 Apr 2021 16:30:23 GMT

Media cleanse anybody?

Thu, 14 Dec 2017 02:57:39 GMT

Ever wonder what we could do with all that time we spend perusing around on facebook/twitter/instagram? What would it be feel like to experience a special moment but resist the urge to share it online? Would our days be different? Well, wonder no more! I'm here to present you with a challenge to put the device down and, even if it's just for a few days, live your experiences as an only and unique beholder; I'm presenting you with an opportunity to not be overwhelmed with copious amounts of information about the lives of others, decoration ideas, politics, make-up tutorials, the state of the world, etc. In the simplest terms, I'm offering a well-deserved break from the digital world, that might (just might), create some space to appreciate the present a little more and refocus on other important values.

If you're ready to take this challenge on, check out these tips that might help you be successful with your media cleanse:

Set realistic goals

Now, you may feeling fearless today and decide you're doing to this cold-turkey, and if you are, good for you! For most of us though, changing a habit can be a slow and difficult process. For that reason, it is important to make sure we establish realistic goals that are still challenging, but not impossible. As a helpful tip for setting realistic goals, follow the SMART goal acronym; set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. For example, instead of saying "I'm off of all social media forever!" try "I will not be logging on to Facebook for the the next 5 days." Setting realistic goals will make it more likely for us to succeed and adjust our expectations so that the media cleanse feels more enjoyable.

Plan your Time

When you cut out social media, it may be that you find yourself with more time and may even be (dare I say it) BORED! For that reason it can be important to decide what you might do with the extra time. Are you going to use it for a workout? Will you be calling your grandma more often? Will you finally begin that gardening (or knitting, or painting, or...you get the picture) project? No matter what it is, be prepared with how you would like to invest this new found time. This will help prevent slip-ups that slide us back into our old ways.

Reframe "Relapse" to "Slip-Up"

You know how 3 days into diets, we cave into the temptation of a co-workers birthday cake? And then we're all like "ohhh forget it, I already messed up, so I'll start again next Monday!" And then proceed to fall down with rabbit whole of debauchery for the rest of the week... Yah, I know the feeling. For some reason, our minds convince us that perfection is the only option, when really, it's simply not. For our media cleanse, try viewing your "cheating moments" as momentary slip ups and not full-on relapses. This will help you stick with the plan, even after the brief moments of weakness, that are actually quite normal when trying to change a habit. In other words, give yourself the grace to make mistakes, but get back on the wagon as soon you can. I know you can do it!

Track your Progress

Last but not least, be sure to be mindful of how you're progressing through your media cleanse. Notice your mood, your productivity, your level of stress, etc. Is anything changing? You may choose to keep a journal or a rating scale to monitor any potential changes. Be open to whatever information you find; you may surprise yourself. At the end of your cleanse, try reflecting on lessons learned and next steps. You can decide to go back to your regular media use, you may decided to extend your cleanse, or you may decide to find a more balanced way of using social media. No matter what your next step is, make sure that you make an intentional and thoughtful decision based on your lessons learned.

The reality is that, for many in today's world, social media is a way of feeling connected and supported by a network of people. This cleanse is not meant to place judgement on our social media habits. Rather, the goal of the cleanse is to figure out what works for us when it comes to social media usage. Are our habits balanced, healthy, and most importantly are they beneficial to mental, physical, and spiritual health? After all, we all want to find ways to be our optimal selves and feel happy!

Good luck and happy cleansing!

Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes

Sat, 09 Sep 2017 14:40:24 GMT

Creating habits for a healthy life

In a previous post about finding balance in our busy lives, I mention Dr. Walsh's insightful article on the concept of Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes (TLCs). This article contains sooo much useful information on how simple healthy habits can positively impact our mental health; It is a goldmine! For that reason, I wanted to make sure I take the time to further discuss and share it's content.

Dr. Walsh describes 8 TLC's: exercise, nutrition and diet, relationships, time in nature, recreation, relaxation and stress management, religious and spiritual involvement, and lastly contribution and service to others. Let's talk more about each of these!

Exercise

Most of us know that exercise is good for our physical health, but I imagine not everyone is aware of the BIG effect that exercise can have on our mental health. Many of us have probably experienced improvements in mood when regularly exercising, so when I learned that there is a ton a of research to support exercise as an effective tool to prevent, fight, or cope with mental illness, it really made sense!

Dr. Walsh shares numerous studies which have suggested that engaging in regular exercise can help reduce risks of depression, anxiety, addiction, and even age-related cognitive decline disorders (e.g. Alzheimer's). He mentions that in regards to benefits, exercise even compares favorably with medication and therapy in treating depression. Pretty amazing (in my humble opinion).

The proposed reasons for why exercise can be so effective in improving our mental health are a combination of the psychological and physiological effects that exercise has on us. Things like improved self-esteem and self-efficacy, interruption of negative thoughts, release of endorphins, improved sleep, etc. No matter the reason, we know that exercise (both aerobic exercise and weight training) can help us feel better. This is great news because exercise can be easily available to most us, whether it's going for jog, riding bike, or looking up some free yoga videos online.

Nutrition & Diet

The amount of available information on nutrition and diet can be confusing and overwhelming! To simplify this topic, Dr. Walsh's article focuses on 2 areas of nutrition and diet: food selection and supplements.

Food Selection
When it comes to food selection, TLC's recommendations include 3 basic principles:

Eat a "rainbow diet", which is one that includes a wide variety of colors. We're not talking skittles here (just to clarify)! TLC's recommendations are for our eating habits to include a wide range for fruits and vegetables. The different colors ensure that we are ingesting a wide variety of nutrients needed for our bodies to function well.*
Consume Omega-3s. Most people get their Omega-3s from fish sources; just be sure to pay attention to mercury levels when selecting which fish you consume. You can also do some research about plant sources for Omega-3s (e.g. flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds, etc.)
Reduce excessive calories. This one is pretty straight forward - don't eat more than your body needs for healthy sustainability.

Supplements
In regards to supplements, TLC's recommendations focus on 2 supplements: Omega-3s and Vitamin D. Dr. Walsh explains that getting enough Omega-3's is essential for neural functioning and has been associated with improvements in cognitive functioning, as well as correlated with reduction in depression. Vitamin D is also highlighted as an important supplement to assist our bodies and mind in being healthy. In the article it is mentioned that there is a widespread vitamin D deficiency among the population, which is a shame, considering that Vitamin D has been associated depression, cognitive decline, and bipolar disorder. Vitamin D can be absorbed from exposing your bare skin to the sun (safely and moderately) and from vitamin D supplements.

*For a fun and yummy way to add color to your diet, check out the recipe video below on a "Rainbow Noodle Salad":

Relationships

Healthy relationships with our loved ones (friends, family members, significant others, etc.) have many benefits. In regards to mental health, these positive relationships have been associated with higher levels of happiness, quality of life, and resilience. Some research also suggests connections between healthy relationships and our physical wellbeing, indicating reduced risks for illnesses ranging from the common cold to strokes. Really fascinating stuff, huh?

The reality is that we are wired to be social beings; do some more research on mirror neurons and you may be surprised at how much our biology encourages socialization and human connection through empathy. We really are more interconnected than we may realize! This may be why so many people can experience powerful changes and improvements while attending counseling; if you really think about it, counseling is all about establishing a healthy relationship where you can be heard, validated, and experience a genuine human connection. The relationship building skills you practice in counseling, can then be transferred to relationships with acquaintances, friends, and family members.

In such an individualistic culture, it may be easy to forget that for our wellbeing, the wellbeing of those we love, and the wellbeing of our communities, we really do need to take the time to connect, to hear and be heard, to understand and be understood. We will be all the happier because of it.

Nature

This may come as a surprise, but believe it or not, spending time in nature has been associated with improved mental health. The idea is that nature can provide us with respite from our hectic lives and allow us to reconnect with ourselves and with our values; it's a way of being reminded of what really matters. Not mention, that when we are in nature we are given the gift of silence and natural light (i.e sunlight).

In today's world, we can easily feel disconnected from the amazing beauty the natural world has to offer. We spend more and more time browsing on the web, looking through social media sites, watching TV, and living out our lives in a digital space. And although the verdict is still out on how these lifestyle choices impact psychological wellbeing, there are those who suggest that such extreme media immersion can be result in stress, information overload, and ineffective multi-tasking.

Lucky for us, we live in Central Florida! This means that we have access to beautiful sites in a wide variety of settings (e.g. hiking trails, beaches, wetlands, natural springs, nature preserves, etc.) to reconnect with nature. It's just matter of quick google search and setting aside some well-deserved time!

Recreation and Enjoyable Activities

I have some GREAT news everyone: Having fun is good for us! Something as simple as laughing can be impactful in improving our moods, mitigate stress, and supporting immune function. So go ahead and drop the obligatory, self-inflicted guilt trip whenever you set aside time for recreation. Just remember, research suggests that having fun is helpful in better coping with distress; when having fun you are essentially creating a positive reinforcement system for yourself.

Not to mention, that recreation can often overlap with the other TLC's (e.g. exercising, hanging out with friends, time in nature, etc.), allowing us to address those areas of our life simultaneously. Recreation can also include meeting the needs of our creative selves. Activities like making art, music, writing poetry, etc. are all included under the umbrella of recreation.

Do you have a hobby or fun activity that brings you joy? What are some small ways you can include that activity in your life more often so as to experience the positive emotions associated with it?

Relaxation and Stress Management

Managing chronic stress effectively and consistently is key for our emotional wellbeing. And unfortunately, although stress is universal, knowledge about healthy coping skills for managing said stress is not. We don't always learn the necessary skills to cope with stress, and sometimes even if we have the skills (e.g. practicing some of the other TLCs discussed in this article), we may have difficulties implementing them. Where it's time restrictions, not fully understanding the importance of managing stress, or fear, I would urge everyone to find the motivation and discipline to directly address your stress.

Self-Management Skills
Some of the self-management skills discussed in the article include:

Meditation
Guided imagery
Yoga
Muscle relaxation exercises
Mindfulness

There are many free available resources and tools online that can help you get started with a stress-management skill of your liking. The University of Michigan Medicine has a cool guided imagery audio library, which can be a great start:

https://www.mcancer.org/support/managing-emotions/complementary-therapies/guided-imagery/audio-library

Religious and Spiritual Involvement

Spirituality is very personally defined and it may or may not involve religion. For some, the simple act of going into nature, or being grateful, is enough to feel spiritual fulfillment. Others may prefer the structure and community that a religious organization can offer. Regardless of what spirituality means to you, research seems to suggest that spiritual practices serve as a major means of coping with stress. This may explain why over 90% of the world population engages in religious and spiritual activities and believes.

It is important to note that, unfortunately, sometimes religion is used as a tool for violence, discrimination, and exclusion. Dr. Walsh points out that benefits from practicing religion and spirituality seem to be most likely when the practices and believes center around the idea of love and forgiveness. Some of the mental health benefits that have been suggested by research include reduced rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide.

If you're still in the process of defining your spiritual identity, please know that this is also okay. There is a huge variety of ways to explore this topic and learn about what matches your values. So don't be afraid to read, learn, and tune in to your spiritual self, however you may define it.

Contribution and Service

Although it may sound a bit paradoxical, giving can be more beneficial to the giver than the receiver. This is because through our contribution and service, the giver can foster a sense of joy, generosity, and love. Multiple studies suggests that those who are engage in altruistic behaviors are psychologically happier and healthier.

For these reasons, contribution and service can be easily reimagined to be, not a sacrifice, but rather a wellness opportunity that can deeply enrich the life of the giver. In most communities there are many opportunities to volunteer and many non-profit organizations are grateful and open to new volunteers. The first step would be to find a cause that is near and dear to your heart. Here are a few suggestions of where to look, if you need a little help getting started:

Homeless shelters
Animal shelters
Domestic Violence shelters
Soup kitchens and food pantries
Ronald McDonald Houses

No matter where and how you choose to help, know that cultivating altruism ca do wonders for your mental health!

Long Story Short...

Even small changes in your everyday life can lead to a happier healthier you! These TLC's can be a powerful way to strengthening your mental health and living you life with more intention. You don't have to make all these changes at once, and you may even notice that you can choose activities that simultaneously address the TLC's (e.g. going for a hike with friends). So feel free to be creative and enjoy the process of cultivating these habits!

Reference:

Walsh, R. (2011). Lifestyle and mental health. American Psychologist , 66 (7), 579-592. doi:10.1037/a0021769

Make Stress your Friend

Thu, 10 Aug 2017 12:56:38 GMT

Watch Dr. McGonical's TED talk how how to not stress about stress!

Take some time to watch Dr. Kelly McGonigal discuss a new perspective on stress. If you find yourself thinking of your stress as an obstacle or a problem to be solved, her TED talk could really be of use. Enjoy!

Looking Within

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:21:54 GMT

Journaling as tool for insight

Writing helped me survive. Growing up in a dysfunctional home (like so many of us!), I remember my journal being my sanctuary. This little notebook, with it's crisp blank pages, represented an island of solace that gave me the much-needed freedom to simply be me. On those pages, it was okay to express anger, sadness, resentment; it was okay to write the stories that I didn't dare share with anyone else; it was okay to ask the questions that were burning in my mind and heart. It was through journaling that I came to better understand and accept myself, my family, and the world around me.

It was very gratifying to be reminded of the power of journaling during my clinical training to become a mental health counselor. I learned that journaling is often used as a coping strategy and therapeutic intervention for many people looking for relief from their own feelings of depression, anxiety, and past hurts. As a therapist, I've had the privilege of witnessing people's stories pouring out of them and onto pages, and have seen the emotional weight coming off. I have seen people find their very own island of solace.

If you have never tried it, don't be intimidated. Journaling can be a little uncomfortable at first, but remember discomfort is the birthplace for growth. If you need a little help to get started, check out some of these writing prompts to get some of your creative juices flowing:

- What is your earliest memory? Can you describe it detail?
- Write about a significant, life-altering moment for you. Why was it important? What was your emotional experience of that moment?
- What is something you have survived? How are you different because of that experience?
- What are your wildest dreams for yourself? How can these dreams be converted into goals?
- Write about the things in your life you are grateful for. What makes them special to you?

The possibilities for topics are endless, so feel free to explore the depths of your own imagination and experiences to enjoy the catharsis of writing!

Long story short: journaling can be amazingly therapeutic. And the best part? Writing is almost always available to us! All you need is some paper and a pen (or a computer if that's your thing)!

I'll leave you with this quote by author Cristina Baldwin: "Journal writing is a voyage to the interior".

Happy writing!

Courage for Everyday Life

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:21:12 GMT

Nelson Mandela once said that "courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

I love that quote because it clears up the common misconception that to be courageous means to be fearless. In reality, courage means the willingness and the ability to act despite our fears. Courage doesn't have to look like a grand and heroic deed. Sometimes we are most courageous through what to others may seem ordinary. Courage can be applying for that promotion at work; it can be talking to a new person at a party; it can be finally starting your own business; going back to school; sharing your deepest feelings and thoughts to your partner; picking up the phone and making your first counseling appointment to talk about past and current hurts.

Everyday, we are given opportunities to be courageous. Yet, how often do we allow fear to stop us in our tracks? We misinterpret the common human emotion of being afraid to be proof that we are somehow inadequate. We view our fear as an unsurpassable obstacles. And we couldn't be more wrong! Experiencing fear makes us human.

Reframing our fears can be a powerful way of conquering them. It's important to remember that fear is useful and natural. Fear can be helpful in curbing some of our impulses, protecting ourselves, and making us think carefully about our decisions. But just like almost anything in life, we have to strive for balance and not allow for fear to be our only consideration when making decisions.

We have power to master our fears. And what's more, if you've made it this far, it's probably because you have already had successes in surviving your fears.

What does courage look like for you? What opportunities do you have to be courageous in your everyday life?

Finding Balance

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:19:47 GMT

Making space for wellness in your life

Have you ever noticed that when life gets busy, wellness goes out the window? We forget all about our commitment to healthy eating and exercise and instead find ourselves on the couch, reaching for the chocolate and binge watching our favorite TV show. Not there is anything wrong with an evening as lovely as that, but it's important to know that when we are feeling most stressed is also when we are feeling most vulnerable to engage in those immediate gratification "treats" that can end up working against us. I dare say that most of us probably don't feel energized and full of joy after eating heavy foods and several hours of screen time.

So, what would it be like if at our most stressed we engaged in activities that directly addressed our stress instead of ones that distracted us from our stress? Activities such as exercising, healthy eating, volunteering, utilizing our support system, meditating, etc. I suspect that we would probably notice a turn for the better.

In his article titled "Lifestyle and Mental Health" (2011), Dr. Walsh from UC Irvine summarizes the positive impact these small lifestyle changes can have on someone's physical and mental health. These healthy habits, he explains, could be helpful in fighting depression and other mental illness, and enhance feelings of wellbeing and calmness. He goes on to discuss specific wellness habits, which he refers to as the Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes. They include many of the habits we already know to be good for us (exercising, maintaining healthy relationships, relaxing, etc.).

I know, I know! We all have pretty good idea of what is healthy and good for us. The pickle is how we get to put this knowledge into practice. What stops us? The reality is that this is a very personal question that only we can answer for ourselves. Is is fear of failure? Is it feelings of guilt? Is it something as simple as lack of time?

Regardless of the reason, I am inviting each of you to reconsider your views on wellness. Instead of thinking of it as a pesky task you want to check off your list, think of it as a smart investment in yourself that is bound to have positive results. Know that wellness is not only about eating carrots and meditating in the forest! It's also about having fun with you friends, getting a massage, and creating something you enjoy (a yummy dish, a painting, music, etc.).

So go ahead! Carve out a little time for yourself! Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you for it.

Is Counseling Right for Me?

Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:18:44 GMT

Knowing when to seek for outside help

Going to counseling can feel like a BIG decision. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma associated with seeking help from mental health professional. This stigma is often rooted in misconceptions about what counseling is and what it means about those who seek it. So, before we talk about anything else, I'd like to clarify some aspects about the therapeutic process (or at least the therapeutic process at Holistic Counseling Group). Ok! Here we go!

Counseling is a collaborative process
Feel free to toss out that Sigmund Freud image of counseling! You know, the one of you lying on a sofa talking about your dreams while an expert jots down notes you never get to see. Thankfully, counseling is a much more collaborative process, one in which you have control of your goals, how your time is invested, and what you would like to talk about. No counselor will be an expert in your life, so it's important that you feel a sense of autonomy and ownership over the work you do with your counselor.

Counseling serves as an emotionally safe space
Through the unique counseling aspects of confidentiality, trust building, and establishing a positive relationship, there will (or rather should) come a place in your counseling process where you feel comfortable to be you. As a counselor, I always strive to build environment where my clients can safely express their feelings, thoughts, and experiences without fear of judgement or rejection. The goal is to make you feel heard.

Counseling can be uncomfortable
Now, being emotionally safe does not safeguard the counseling process from being somewhat uncomfortable. Your counselor will most likely ask questions or pose challenges to you that can fall outside your comfort zone. You may delve into topics that make you feel more vulnerable than what you are used to and that's okay. Growth and change cannot happen unless we explore areas outside our status quo. Keep in mind that even throughout these difficult conversations, you are always in control over how much you want to say and when you want to say it. We want all of our clients to feel empowered to ask for what they need, including breaks from difficult topics!

Counselors are not advise-givers
If you're looking for advise, you are not likely to get it from a counselor. Most counselors have training and knowledge on what healthy behaviors and decisions can look like, but the reality is that there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to life, so it would be presumptuous of us to claim we know what is best for any of our clients. Through the process of counseling many clients find something that much more valuable than a piece of advice; they find the confidence and skills to look within and make the decisions that feel right for them.

Counseling can be rewarding
Whether it's a reduction in depression and anxiety, an increase in self-care, more harmonious relationships with others, or any other personal goal, many people experience positive changes as a result of the work they do in counseling. At the end of their journey many clients tell us they are happier and more satisfied with themselves and their lives (which is music to our ears!). So although counseling may not always include a sense of immediate gratification, the long-term payoff of your work can be extremely rewarding.

Now let's go back to original questions. How do you know if counseling is right you? Well, if you are looking to achieve change (e.g. feel happier, improve your self-care, have a better relationship with those you love, worry less, etc.) and are willing to do the work to get there, then counseling can be a huge asset for you. After all, we go to the doctor when we want to be physically healthy, why not seek help from a mental health professional when we want to be emotionally healthy (or healthier!)?

If you have additional questions or concerns about the counseling process, please don't hesitate to give us a call! We would be happy to provide you with a free consultation and answer all your questions!